Saturday, November 19, 2005

The geology lesson under my bathroom sink.

It's a good thing I had a Domestic Goddess fit today, otherwise that huge can of crystal Drano that somehow got wet and erupted all over everything in the bottom cabinet of the big-bathroom sink might have gone unnoticed for yet another year week.

That Drano can was almost completely eaten away, and the dried crystals were everywhere. From the looks of it, the thing must have blown months ago. It couldn't have been a full year, because I distinctly remember cleaning out that cabinet before the holidays last year last St. Whuppin's Day.

It's a very private, family holiday which we invoke whenever we need to take a Mental Health Day from work.

And like any family's personal, private, invoked-when-we-want-to holiday, it's a euphemism for "Can't see myself going to work/school/anywhere I don't want to go" syndrome, but "you'd better pay me/give me makeup work anyway." Yeah, yeah, don't get me started, Bahamas-during-the-school-year parents.

Item: Ancient got-wet-but-dried-out Drano is still potent and will eat the skin right off your hands.

I really need to check things out in this bathroom more often. It's seldom used unless the kids are home or we have guests, so I tend to forget it's there. But it sure looks good right now.

Yes, it's THIS bathroom.

Item: I threw out all the Kotex and tampons that were under there. The possible scenarios that might have arisen were too horrifying to comprehend.

I also threw out three never-used cans of air freshener that had been almost completely eaten through. And while I had the stuff all over my hands anyway, I scrubbed out the toilet. I really don't mind cleaning a toilet; it's the base of it with those little bolt-covers on the floor that I hate to clean. But you may all come over and sit on it now, secure in the knowledge that the germs have been frightened away so completely, your butt will be cleaner when you stand back up than it was before you sat down. Please let me know if you feel any twinges; I think I got all that crystal Drano cleaned up but you never know.

The bag of trash is sitting out on the deck. I bet the wildlife will leave this one alone. And if they don't, they'll wish they had.

I also hope I never have to clean up a mess like that again. We're talking stalactites on the bendy-pipe, people.

(stalaCtites = "C for ceiling") (stalaGmites = "G for ground")

No charge for the geology lesson.