Monday, July 14, 2008

Alive, Alive-O

My cockles itch. I need magic. Drugs ain't working.

Hey HEY! I leave for BlogHer in a few days, and I want to make a good impression on everyone there, so I thought that it might be nice, today, to work out in the yard; you know, mowing, weeding, standing around in tall grass, tearing grape vines out of shagbark hickory trees, and just generally tearing my hands to a bloody pulp and laying a buffet for the chiggers.

Let me put it another way: I'll be the fat chick covered with red spots the size of dimes, excusing herself every few minutes to go scratch where the sun don't shine.

I am miserable. The itch quotient is a number that would take too much space to type.

I'll be using the next couple of days learning to scratch myself with my toenails. I know it will be subtle and graceful; nobody will even notice.

I've been so stressed over this and that lately What with one thing and another, I forgot about Quotation Saturday. It warms the cockles of my heart that so many people missed the quotes, and emailed me to ask for a late edition. I always listen to my cockles, so here it is: Quotation Saturday Monday.

1. Music and art must have their prominent seats of honour, and not merely a tolerant nod of recognition. --Tagore

2. Still seems it strange that thou shouldst live forever? Is it less strange that thou shouldst live at all? This is a miracle, and that no more. --Edward Young

3. Learning teaches how to carry things in suspense, without prejudice, 'till you resolve. --Francis Bacon

4. It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. --FDR

5. Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind. --W.S. Maugham

6. Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. They teach you there's a boundary line to music. But, man, there's no boundary line to art. --Charlie Parker

7. Marriage is a wonderful invention, but then again, so is the bicycle repair kit. --Billy Connally

8. It's no good saying "Hold it!" to a moment of real life. --Lord Snowden

9. Each man's memory is his private literature. --Aldous Huxley

10. He has Van Gogh's ear for music. --Orson Welles

11. There is but one morality, as there is but one geometry. --Voltaire

12. Music is but a living application of mathematics. -- Gino Severini

13. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. --Frederick Evan Crane

14. Men who never take back their words love themselves more than truth. --Joseph Joubert

15. A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. --Dean Acheson

16. A jazzy musician is a juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges. --Benny Green

17. Keep out of ruts; a rut is something which, if travelled in too much, becomes a ditch. --Arthur Guiterman

18. Your giving a reason for it will not make it right. You may have a reason why two and two should make five, but they will still make but four. --Samuel Johnson

19. The greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more. --Jonas Salk

20. Rumors always have been powerful. But, somehow, an internet rumor casts a spell. It's in writing, and it comes from the almighty machine. --Wyatt Andrews

21. Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do. --James Harvey Robinson

22. . . . and though the tongue has no bones, it can sometimes break millions of them. --F.L. Lucas

23. Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. --Pablo Picasso

24. God gives sleep to the bad, in order that the good may be undisturbed. --Saadi

25. The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine. --Emerson

26. Great numbers of moderately good people think it fine to talk scandal; they regard it as a sort of evidence of their own goodness. --Frederick William Faber

27. Our disputants put me in mind of the scuttlefish that, when he is unable to extricate himself, blackens the water about him till he becomes invisible. --Joseph Addison

28. He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts - for support rather than illumination. --Andrew Lang

29. Anyone can observe the Sabbath, but making it holy surely takes the rest of the week. --Alice Walker

30. There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little. --Francis Bacon

31. We are not punished for our sins, but by them. --Elbert Hubbard

32. The really serious things in life are earning one's living so as not to be a parasite, and loving one's neighbor. --W.H. Auden

33. I can't say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days. --Daniel Boone

34. Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. --Thoreau

35. Things work out best for the people who make the best out of the way things work out. --Anon.

36. It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window. --Raymond Chandler

37. It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard. --Dorothy Parker

38. The only time we should look down upon another man is when we are bending over to help him up. --Unknown

39. I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow. --Woodrow Wilson

40. Bullies are always to be found where there are cowards. --Gandhi

41. Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance. --Robert Quillen

42. The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner. --Karl Kraus

43. Democracy without education is hypocrisy without limitation. --Iskander Mirza

44. Nine out of ten juvenile delinquents are just inferior. --J.D. Tanguey

45. A man on a mission is far different from a drone on a deadline. --Rheta Grimsley Johnson

46. One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. --A.A. Milne

47. Seize the day: it's the only one you can be sure you'll have. -- Unknown

48. Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind. --Einstein

49. To lead a symphony, you must occasionally turn your back on the crowd. --Unknown

50. Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a big stick. --Anon.

A friendly reminder - and remember, my cockles itch and I've got a big stick* - that the deadline for submitting your articles to this week's Carnival of Education is Tuesday evening, 6 p.m.

* Have at thee, Google.


Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly