Monday, May 05, 2008

Where Does She GET These People?

Just so you know, the person I believe would be the best president for our country doesn't have a chance. I'd love to vote for him, but it would only be taking a vote away from the only thing standing between us and a world leader who cackles and has short-term memory loss. (No, it's not McCain; are you CRAZY?)

For the record, of the two major political candidates running for president, only one of them is harassing me at home. The other candidate has graciously left me alone to make my decision based on his speeches, his opinions about things that are important to me, and his lack of personal involvement in scandals having to do with sex, money, enabling deviant behavior, lies, and bilking the public. He also found the time to come right here to my community, himself, to talk.

I especially appreciate the fact that he has never intruded.

We are being bombarded with phone calls from various Hilary Clinton headquarters, and except for the latest call - less than a minute ago - all of the calls have been either truly dreadful taped tirades against Obama, or dramatic, pleading, undignified requests for my vote that can only be called "begging."

I would suggest to Hilary that she hire phone soliciters who sound less like, um, other kinds of soliciters. Where did she get some of these people? Minsky's? A few people who know how to put together a complete sentence would be nice to throw into the mix, as well. Oh, and I do NOT appreciate being called "dear" by a politician's lap dummy, thankyouverymuch.

As for her lackeys who persisted in arguing with me after I said, "No, thank you," I can only say. . . well, no, I can't say it. I go a bit too far sometimes on my blog, but I'll have to plead the "Auntie Em" for this one. Bonus points if you know what that is.

We are also getting a lot of calls from "Hilary Clinton" that have no message or voices at all; I pick up the receiver and there's nobody there. I can hear activity in the background, but there's nobody on the phone. We don't bother picking up any more for that.

I am not a political blogger, not by anyone's stretch of the imagination, but I am a fairly intelligent citizen, and I treasure my vote and honestly believe somebody is counting it. I believe that Americans who choose not to vote aren't pulling their weight, and that non-voters had better not voice their political opinions after the fact; they forfeited that privilege when they decided not to vote.

I believe that if someone is running for office, and wants my vote, then that someone had better not be calling my home and bothering me when I'm busy, or even when I'm not busy. And if a candidate insists on intruding, then that intruder had better be able to spin a witty, grammatical, brief, and convincing gem of a reason she should have my vote, and her reasons had better not include anything about her opponent. That would pretty much rule out all those oversized post cards about gun control she's been mailing to me, over and over and over, too. Trees? TREES, Hilary! As soon as one candidate starts talking trash about the other candidate, somebody's cause is already lost, as far as I'm concerned. I consider such methods to be nothing more than diversionary tactics, representative of the vicious, mean-spirited nature of someone who has things she definitely wants covered up about herself. No names mentioned.

You're running for office? Tell me what YOU plan to do. Let the other guy tell me what HE plans to do. Be nice to each other. This whole country is going down the pop-culture-obsessive, entitlement, look at meeeee, tubes, and I get enough wahhh wahhh, did not, did so, did not, did tooooooo in the national news now, thanks.

Oh, and when that candidate's people phone me at home, again and again and again, with those dreadful nasal, been-smoking-all-my-life-and-ain't-nobody-gonna-stop-me-now women's voices and the bad, bad, bad grammar and the logic that can best be categorized as "nonexistent," well, "dear," I'll have to tell you that you'll get my vote, sure. When hell freezes over.

Now, will you please tell your minions to leave me alone? I mean JEEPERS!

As for the child who called me just a few minutes ago: I really don't put much credibility in anybody of any age who has Melanie Griffith's voice, either. How about you just lay the hell off me? Hmm? Can you do that for me? Every call I get just reminds me of more reasons why I am not voting for you.

Next time, hire better people. Oh, they were volunteers? Heaven help you, then.

I just got another call from the Hilary Connection. On my CELL PHONE. That cost me two units of time, but it cost you much, much more. I never talk politics with my students, even though they've been begging me to tell them who I'm voting for.

This is the last week of class. If they ask me again, I'm telling them. And if they ask me why, I'm telling them why.


Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly