Sunday, February 24, 2008

Are You Ready for the Professional Working World?

This quiz has been floating around the internet for a long, long time. I used to give this test to my 8th graders at the end of the year. You will not be surprised to learn that most of them. . . . passed it.

The quiz consists of four questions that will gauge whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN for the answers. There is no need to cheat. There is NEVER a need to cheat. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a truly educated professional. This is not a "joke test."

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
















Answer: Open the refrigerator door, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?













Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator door, put in the elephant, and close the door.

Correct answer: Open the refrigerator door, remove the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your foresight, and your ability to think about the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?













Answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking.


4. There is a river wherein dwell thousands of crocodiles. How do you cross it safely?













Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting. This question tests your reasoning ability.

So. . . .

If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true professional. Wealth and success await you, and rightly so.

If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do, but there's hope for you. You can do it!

If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint. I mean, REALLY!

If you answered one out of four, try selling some of your organs. It's probably the only way you will ever make any money.

If you didn't get ANY correct answers at all, consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all, such as law or politics.

Studies have shown that 90% of managers/administrators tested got all four questions wrong. However, many preschoolers got all four answers correct. This pretty much disproves the theory that most administrators have the brains of a four-year-old.

Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly