Sunday, May 06, 2007

I Won't Win Any Friends With This One, By Golly

There is something I want to say, but it's harsh, and I am by nature pretty wimpish, and it's hard for me to say things like this but I truly believe it needs to be said.

I mean, when it comes to my job, I can be direct, and just SAY IT. But this has nothing to do with my job, except indirectly, because it has to do with life, and our jobs are part of life, and I'm rambling now because I don't know how to say what I really, really want to say, so maybe I'd better just out with it.

First of all, I can only speak for women, even though I would LIKE to speak for the men, and I know what the men really ought to be thinking and saying and doing, but when it comes right down to it, I have never been a man and therefore can't really speak for men. even though I know what the men should be thinking and saying and doing and so do they and why they don't do the right thing is beyond me but I've never been a man. . . . I am a woman and I can speak only as a woman. The woman's role in this is only half, but it's the only half I feel qualified to speak for.

So, here goes. If I hit you below the belt it's because you had it coming.

Why do women treat each other so shabbily? This holds true in many areas of our lives but lately it seems that we are even less loyal and considerate and compassionate and kind towards each other than usual. Well, not all of us, actually; just a few, really, but ladies, those few of you are giving all women a bad name.

Oh, did I say "ladies" up there? Excuse me. Women who treat each other badly are not ladies.

It is very true that it takes two to tango. It is also true that both dancers have to agree to tango. If only ONE of those dancers refuses to tango, then there will be no tango, even if the other dancer still wants to tango. For a tango, there must be two. BOTH must have agreed to tango.

Women, why do some of you insist on doing the tango with someone else's partner? Yes, yes, I know that much of the time you've been asked to tango by that partner, but nowhere is it written that you are obligated to tango, ever. Getting up to tango is a choice you make, a free-will choice. Some of you are choosing to betray a fellow woman in this way, and this makes you a whore.

I will not sugar-coat the word for you, in spite of your insistence that "these things happen" and "I didn't mean for it to happen" and "I'm so sorry, it just happened" and "I fell in love, what can I say" and "this is best for MEEEEEE" and "I'm not a whore!" and "I'm a nice person, really" and, and, and, and any other excuse you come up with, because the truth is, the happening or not happening was up to YOU, and if it "happened," it's because YOU LET IT HAPPEN.

Don't try to give me any of that "I was swept off my feet" shit, either. I don't believe you, and neither does anybody else. CHOICE. You made a conscious choice. Is your self-control that pathetic? How old are you? Are you an adult? Is this the kind of choice you want your children to make? Do you ever use your brain? Is your promise worth anything at all?

Of your own free will, you CHOSE to betray another woman and, in many cases, a man as well. It has nothing to do with love, or magnetism, or wiring, or anything else except your choice to let your hormones rule your actions. Nobody is forced to follow their secret longings and temptations out the door and into the back alley. Nice women, classy women, smart women, kind women, do not betray one another in this way. Whores do that. Whores.

There is much talk of women changing the world. I do not believe this will ever happen until women change the way we treat each other.

As long as we are willing to betray one another, we will betray the universe. And by the way, when women betray one another, they are already destroying the universe for little children, for partners who trusted, and for entire family units, all for the sake of a tango.

Is destroying the universe for someone's little children, devastating a partner, and betraying the trust of a friend worth a tango? If it is, then you are indeed a whore.

Enjoy your tango. Don't be surprised if the person who asked you to dance is already looking over your shoulder for the next sucker hormonal whore. The internet just made it easier, and you were ripe for the tango-ing.

Oh, and by the way. Everybody knows.

Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly