Saturday, February 18, 2006

My children were perfect. Yours, too.

When my children were small, I thought most of their little talents and abilities were wonderful. They sang like angels, and babbled and chattered like cherubs, and danced like prima ballerinas, and the way they pretended their french fries were elves and fairies was absolutely enchanting. It might have been a little bit loud, but hey, that just meant everyone in the restaurant got to experience my charming little children, too. And I just KNEW they loved it. I mean, what could have been more enchanting than two tiny little children, whirling on tiptoe in a restaurant singing at the top of their lungs, with their adorable garbled baby-grammar and their sweet smiles and the cute way they waved french fries in the air. Nobody could have resisted. Nobody. Everyone in the world loved my children and everyone in the world was only too happy to help me indulge them in public. You know, instead of just sitting there having a peaceful meal, the way they'd originally planned.

Seriously though, this wasn't me. It was my sister, but it wasn't me. It was lots of people I personally know, and even more people I don't personally know but was forced much against my will privileged to meet during my adult life.

What gets into some of us when we have children? Do we really instantly forget about public good manners? I think some of us do just that.

And it's got to stop. Little children are the most important thing in the universe, and we must NOT let them grow up thinking they are the center of that same universe. It is our responsibility to make sure our children know how to behave properly wherever they are, and if that means coming down hard on them when they choose to disobey us, so be it.

I know that you know that I am not advocating any kind of hitting or cruelty. I would turn you in to the CPS faster than you could wink, my friends, if I thought your children were being abused. I do advocate consequences, however; and consequences that fit the offense. And consequences every time.

Our children are so beautiful, so charming, so talented. Let's make sure the world sees that only when it's appropriate, ok?

Sometimes, people just need a peaceful romantic meal. And when they paid to have someone watch their own children, it's just not fair to let OUR children dance all over them or bother them in any way.

And if our children simply can not behave, let's just not take them anywhere till they can, agreed? Thank you.

And if they can't behave, how about let's also make some serious changes around the house. Please.

The known universe thanks you.