Wednesday, December 07, 2005

You must learn, young Padawan.

I gave finals to two classes this morning. The first class is awesome; I adore them. They finished their tests in silence, handed them to me, THANKED ME FOR BEING THEIR TEACHER!!!!! gathered their stuff, and left, quietly. I heard them talking in the halls a little later, about how much easier the test was, than they'd thought it might be.

The second class? It's my slacker class. Here's how it went:

Slacker: This test is fucked. I don't know this shit.

Evil Teacher: The students with good attendance know it.

Slacker: Are you talking to me?

Evil Teacher: Apparently not.

Slacker: Do we HAVE to use a #2 pencil? I hate that. Do we HAVE to?

Evil Teacher: Yes.

Slacker: This sucks. I don't have one. Give me yours.

Evil Teacher: Here, take it. Use it well, young Padawan.

Slacker: Huh? Whatever. I hate black pencils. Got any other colors?

Evil Teacher: No. Black is the color of despair. It is fitting.

Slacker: Whut? Huh? I hate this pencil. Buy some good ones next time.

Evil Teacher: I promise. . . . . . shakes head ever-so-slightly in wonder. . . . . .

(30 minutes later)

Slacker: I done mine in ink. Is that okay?

ET: No. Here's another form; you have to use a #2 pencil.

Slacker: That sucks!!!!

ET: Yes. Yes, it does.

Slacker: Huh?

ET: You're right. It definitely sucks. Do it anyway.

Slacker: Can I go to the can? I really gotta pee.

ET: Sure. You go to the can. And please wash your mouth out with soap before you return.

Slacker: Huh?

ET: I said, please remember to wash your hands before you return.

Slacker: Whutever. When you gots to pee, you gots to pee.

ET: You have thirty minutes remaining, students.

Slacker: Do we got to do the ones on the back of the paper?

ET: Why, no. No, you don't HAVE to do the ones on the back. In fact, you don't HAVE to do ANY of them. It's all about CHOICE. You are a FREE AGENT. You only HAVE to do the ones you WANT to do.

Slacker: Do whut? Huh?

ET: You don't HAVE to wear your underpants rightside-out either, but most people do.

Slacker: Huh? So we don't got to do the ones on the back?

ET: Yes. Yes, you do. You HAVE to do them.

Slacker: How's come?

ET: Because I said so.

Slacker. Oh. Whutever.

(turns test in with only one side completed, and most of them wrong.)

Slacker: I gots a 9-month-old girl baby. She learning to talk.

ET: Dear Lord.

==

So. How was YOUR day?