Sunday, October 02, 2005

That is how hot I am.

A few days ago, as I was mowing the grass, the blades quietly and without explanation quit going round and round, so I drove back into the garage and gave up, too.

Tonight, Hub and Zappa took the blades off to sharpen them, and what they found were four very dull blades, three of which were bent at 90-degree angles on the tips, just as though they'd started to, well, MELT or something.

They are now accusing me of trying to mow over boulders and stumps. This is absolutely not true, but the more I swear I didn't, the more they laugh.

I have no idea how that could have happened.

The yard is full of geodes and various kinds of nuts, but nothing that could have bent steel blade-tips like that.

There's a limestone quarry down the road but I swear I never rode that mower down there.

I might have run over the garden hose a few times but it's soft and gave up the ghost without a struggle.

The big tarp gave me a few more problems but after I sawed the twisted segments off the blades with a steak knife, those blades twirled as nicely as you please.

No, the only answer to this enigma is that those heavy steel blades succumbed to the hotness of the driver.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Well, it's the only explanation I can come up with, short of admitting that yes, I laid down on my back on the concrete floor of the garage, and, one at a time, bent three heavy steel blade-tips downward with a pair of Dollar Tree pliers, just for fun.

I hope you are all still reading as many Forbidden Books as you possibly can. Banned Book Week is over now, but that doesn't mean we can stop thinking about the travesty and horror of censorship.

Heaven forbid that we think thoughts nobody ever thought before. . . . .