Monday, August 08, 2005

The post where I recommend a product that will make cleaning the toilet the high point of your day.

I'm cheap, and I hate to clean the toilet.

Therefore, I shall pass on to you the fabulous product I discovered.

Firstly, it's cheap. I bought it at the Dollar Tree. It cost a dollar. A big, big bottle of this stuff for a dollar.

Secondly, it's easy to use. Squirt it into the toilet, pick up all your visiting daughter's lipstick-blotted tissues from the floor and put them into the wastebasket, take the toilet brush and give the insides of the porcelain goddess a few lackadaisical swishes, flush, and you're done.

Thirdly, it doesn't stink.

Fourthly, did I mention how cheap it is? I've seen it at WalMart for $1.50, which is comparatively-to-the-other-outrageously-priced-stuff still cheap, but at the Dollar Tree it's a dollar. ONE DOLLAR. And it's a BIG BOTTLE.

Fifthly, I've tackled some mighty stubborn and horrendous stains of unmentionable age and origin, and this stuff works on them like magic. A WEAKLING could conquer the toilet with this stuff.

Sixthly, you've seen it on the shelves a zillion times and figured nothing that cheap could be any good. You were wrong. This stuff is awesome.

Seventhly, I'm sorry I revealed that weaklings can no longer be excused from cleaning the toilet. Sorry, weaklings. With this stuff, even you can do it.

You all know I'm particular. You all know I'm cheap. Therefore, you all now know this stuff works.

I also like to play with words.