Saturday, May 21, 2005

"Take it easy, kid. It's only a movie."

I am a Star Wars fan.

I saw the original episode 23 times in the theater. At home, I lost count long ago.

My favorite is "Return of the Jedi." After that, "A New Hope," which was simply called "Star Wars" till all these prequels started coming out.

I haven't seen the new one yet. I don't stand in line for much of anything these days.

A few months before we got married, Hub and I were on a **date** and sitting in the movie theater waiting for the previews to start. The previews came on, and he nearly leaped out of his seat and made a scene right there in public, which, if you knew him, is so against his silent nature that to remember that leap and that yell is really, really funny.

The previews were for "Star Wars." He had read the novel, and had heard that a movie was in the making, and when those previews hit, he was beside himself. I, on the other hand, had never heard of "Star Wars" and came near to hiding my identity behind my huge tub of popcorn and slinking out of the theater via the back door. I wasn't into space opera, and it looked stupid and violent to me.

Boy, was I wrong. When it was released up in the big city, Hub and his friends drove up there to see it. A few days later, he persuaded me to go with him to see it.

Sigh. What we do when we're dating someone.

I went. We were sitting near the front of the theater, and behind us was a row of teenaged boys.

When the movie came on, one of those boys said, "This first part is really hard. You have to read words."

That's been a catch-phrase in our family ever since.

I watched this movie. I was enchanted.

I'm still enchanted.

A few days later we drove up to the city again, taking our two best friends with us. John and Irene didn't like it as well as we did, but we always had such a great time with them, whatever we did, that the movie was just one of many good times. The back bumper of my car fell off, and we had to stop at a gas station in Indianapolis. Panic set in, because none of us had any money beyond the cost of our Star Wars tickets. Fortune was smiling on us, because the teenaged boy working that evening was bored out of his mind and gladly fixed it for FREE. I always bless his memory every time we drive past that gas station. As for you, John and Irene, I still miss you every day. When are you coming back? I'll even have the cat hair professionally removed just for you, John.

I can't wait till the crowds die down and I can sit in the darkened theater, hear that music that can only mean Star Wars, and experience it all over again. It would be more fun with John and Irene, but I'll take it any way I can get it.

Will I have to read words? I hope so. What's Star Wars without the ascending words? If there are no words, please don't tell me.

In the meantime, I'll do what I'm doing with Harry Potter. Re-read and re-watch everything to properly prepare my mind for the continuance of both.

And there's always Ernie Fosselius, maker of the greatest parody EVER. If you haven't seen "Hardware Wars," you're missing out on some serious hilarity.

"Jeepers! What is it, Augie Ben Doggie? Did you feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?"

"No, just a little headache."

May the Farce be with you.