Thursday, December 30, 2004

Positive, comparative, and superlative.

Golly whilikins, we just got back from Michigan about an hour ago, and I threw all the bags across the kitchen floor and ran in here to go online to see what all I missed and found out. . . . I'M A FINALIST in the BoB Awards!

Thank you! And, thank you again. Here, take this large lawn-and-leaf bag of thanks and keep it; the contents are all for YOU.

Now, when the voting starts, PLEASE vote for me?

Truthfully, you all have no idea how thrilled I honestly am.

This discovery far outclasses the fact that even though Charley Gordon escaped from the garage and ran wild in the streets while we were gone, he knows which side his bread is buttered on and was waiting for us in the driveway when we arrived home.

I'm so happy I've decided NOT to describe in goopy detail the one large poopy-coil I discovered on a pile of Belle's dirty clothes on the laundry room floor a few minutes before we left for Michigan on Tuesday morning. Nor will I go into detail about how when I picked up the dress and tilted it into the toilet, it slid off the pretty navy-blue dress (the one with the tiny white flowers) just a fraction of an inch too soon and cascaded down the side of the toilet like hot fudge at the Dairy Queen. Or how the smell was so bad that I dry-heaved all the way to the 465 bypass, which is about a hundred miles from our house. Good thing I hate breakfast.

I really ought to go downstairs and throw that dress into the washer. I was so grossed out at the time, I just threw it against the exposed pipes beside the laundry sink and ran out to the car.

But I'm not going into any detail about any of that. I'm too happy over being a FINALIST!!!

Thank you!

Oh OKAY already. Here's the darn meme:

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
I resigned from a job I loved, and got another one that I also love.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I’m still really fat, so I guess, “no.” As for next year, I can just recycle last year’s ‘losing a lot of weight’ fantasy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.

4. Did anyone close to you die? This will sound odd to (most) of you, but I am not sure.

5. What countries did you visit? Poverty-land, Rude Awakening-land, and Aren’t You Ashamed Of Complaining After Reading About Other People’s REAL Problems-land.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? Assertiveness. Savvy. Removal of “sucker” tattoo on forehead.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The entire summer was a nightmare.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting my new job.

9. What was your biggest failure? Befriending someone who totally hijacked my computer and my life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I have no cartilage in my knees. I have muscular dystrophy. If not for those, I’d be Olympic material. Yes.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Stuff for the kids.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My beautiful children: I celebrate their very being daily. My husband: I’ve been remembering a lot of reasons why I married him in the first place. I can’t post them here.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted? A certain former boss. A certain group of people online.

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills. Doctors. Medicine. (Scheiss, we’re old now. . . . .)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Every time someone links to me I get all weepily happy. Oh, and Christmas.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?” Gollum’s Theme,” sung by Emiliana Torrini

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Mostly sadder, but happy about a few things b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. Holy cow. c) richer or poorer? WAYYY poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Being cautious with certain people. Laughing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Trusting people. Worrying. Despairing. Etc.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve? With dear friends.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004? No, I was already in love.

22. How many one-night stands? None. I’m kind of into the every-night stands these days.

23. What was your favorite TV program? MASH. (This hasn’t changed for thirty years.)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yes, very much. I hate to say ‘hate,’ but to be perfectly honest, I hate now. I don’t think I ever did before. I'm ashamed of it, but it's true. I'm trying to work through it but so far no go. But I'm still trying.

25. What was the best book you read? Harry Potter. All of them.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Too many to mention.

27. What did you want and get? A new job.

28. What did you want and not get? Justice.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Azkaban. (Hey, I have a degree in Young Adult Lit!)

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I became even older, if such a thing be possible, and we ate pizza and laughed a lot. It was “before.”

31.What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying? Justice.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Nonexistent.

33. What kept you sane? My family. Truth. Loyal friends.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Tough one. Liam Neeson? Alan Rickman? Hugh Grant? Samwise?

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Education. Our kids are being screwed by the administration.

36. Who did you miss? Nancy and Kristin.

37. Who was the best new person you met? All of you bloggers. I want to make cookies for you. I want to play euchre with you. I want to watch movies with you. I want to have your babies. (one way or another.) I want to hang out with you. And in a way, I already do!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004. Be careful who you trust. Trust most people anyway. Sigh. People like me never learn.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Okay, how about this one:

”I saved you," cried the woman,
And you bit me, even why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die.”
"Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin
"You knew damn well I was a snake before you brought me in"

End of meme.

Hey, you know those awesome Hostess Snowball cupcakes, the ones that look like an igloo, and leave you all coated up with coconut, that you can never find in the grocery store but interstate gas stations almost always have them? Yeah, those. I love those things. And Sweetarts! It's never a road trip without Hostess Snowballs and Sweetarts. I'm heavily into the health food thing. Well, speaking of health food, I am a firm believer in it. (hastily flicking stray coconut off chest, where things of that nature almost always find a foothold. . . . .)

And when we got home tonight, almost all the snow was gone! I could see CONCRETE! I could see MUD! (Wait a minute. . . . . )

It was kind of strange, to go that far north to get away from the snow. . . . .

The family reunion was, as always, awesome and replete with new memories. And incredible food.

I'd post a picture but I don't think, even with a wide-angle lens, it would fit on anybody's monitor. Besides, I don't know how.

Um, that's ME I'm talking about up there. Not the rest of Hub's family. Just me. I'm the large Auntie. Auntie Chubs. That's me all right. Auntie Bigguns. A cartoon show about me would be called SpongeMom LargePants.

Belle and Zappa couldn't go to the reunion. They both had to work. It's the first time they haven't been with us there. It made me feel funny to go without them. I kept looking around for them; it was like forgetting toothpaste or underwear or something else really important when staying overnight in someone else's house.

Yes, my children are every bit as important as toothpaste and underwear. I know this will make them very happy.

Speaking of underwear, though, we did stop at a few Outlet Malls (northern Indiana has a million of 'em, while here in the southern tip we don't have many at all. ) And those Hanes/Bali stores were having great sales. I was able to buy great sails for cheap. (I am referring to my underwear in case any of you are puzzled at this time. . . .)

Enough about my underwear. Let's talk about yours.

Just kidding.

Family trips are fun. Family reunions are funner. But you know what, coming back home is funnest of all.

(I teach English, yes; but I'm off duty for one more week.)

Plus, and maybe this is odd but it's absolutely true: I missed all of you bloggers. I really did. It's like coming home to friends.