Saturday, October 30, 2004

Booooo, and ho, ho, ho.

I am so old, I actually remember when holidays took turns manifesting themselves. Holidays didn't step on each other's toes. One holiday waited until every trace of the previous holiday was gone. Stores waited until the day after Thanksgiving to put out their Christmas merchandise. Valentines were sold only in February. Carols played over loudspeakers only in December. Peeps were sold only in the springtime. Peanut butter kisses could be found only in October. Dinosaurs ruled the earth.

Not like nowadays.

Holidays meant more when we experienced them one at a time. They were more fun, too. A major part of any holiday is anticipation, and when something lasts too long, it loses its individual thrill. A person can't look forward to something if it's all around him five months out of the year. Where's the coolness of transitory celebration?

I'm frankly creeped out by Holiday M&M's in October. Christmas decorations were never meant to be displayed side-by-side with cauldrons and ceramic ghosts. Cornucopias are not part of summer decor. Grass seed and candy canes have no business sharing shelf space.

I know, I know. . . . it all boils down to money.

Maybe if we all went on strike, and refused to purchase holiday things until it was TIME for that particular holiday. . . . .

Oh well. Rant over.

I think I'll drive down to the 24-hour WalMart, and buy some Halloween candy, a Thanksgiving centerpiece, and a box of candy canes.

If I wait till it's really time, they'll be stale.