Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Indiana Weather

@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal
underwear. People
in Indiana go swimming in the Rivers.

@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Indiana plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Indiana sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees
Italian &English cars won't start.
People in Indiana drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Wabash River water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees
Floridians down coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and
woolly hats.
People in Indiana throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Indiana have the last cookout before it
gets cold.

@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die...
Hoosiers lick the flagpole.

@ -20 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Indiana get out their winter coats.

@ -40 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Indiana are selling cookies door
to door.

@ -60 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Indiana Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes
until it gets cold enough.

@ -80 degrees
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Indiana rent some videos.

@ -100 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Hoosiers get frustrated because they can't thaw the
keg.

@ -297 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives in dairy products.
Cows in Indiana complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -460 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale).
People in Indiana start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

AND

@ -500 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Colts win the Super Bowl!