Saturday, April 09, 2005

Meat loaf. Not that big singer, athough I like him, too.

I want you all to know that I make VERY GOOD meatloaf. I love it. My brother out west loves it.

Why doesn't anybody else like it? It's good, I'm telling you! But NOBODY likes it, except for my brother and me. And when I say 'nobody,' I also mean "nothing."

I like YOUR meatloaf. I've seldom encountered a meatloaf that was inedible. But can you imagine. . . . my own family hates my meatloaf. You should hear the whiny complaints. Jeepers.

In spite of all my claims that my meatloaf is delicious, however, they have proof that (sigh) perhaps it leaves something to be desired.

Darn that owl.

We live out in the country. We have wildlife. Besides us, I mean. This one time, in band camp. . . . um, I mean, one Thanksgiving morning, as we were getting ready to go to Mom's house, the kids came running into the house, all wide-eyed and excited.

"Mom, there's an OWL in the front yard. We think he's got an injured wing."

I looked out. There was an owl in the front yard. I had no idea that owls were that big. It was enormous, it really was. And it was definitely injured.

What do you do when you've got an enormous injured owl in your front yard? I had no idea. It wasn't exactly a 911 call. I mean, "Hello, I've got a limping owl in my yard?"

So I called Animal Control. They weren't in on Thanksgiving morning. I called the sheriff. I got a recording. I called the Forestry people. The one guy on duty couldn't leave to come and get the owl but he told me to keep away from it as owls can be pretty mean and might attack.

The kids were worried about the owl. It was injured, and unable to swoop down upon mice and snakes and devour them. They knew that owls eat meat, so they were looking in the refrigerator for some.

"Hey, let's throw Mom's leftover meat loaf out to the owl!"

"Yeah, owls eat mice and snakes and stuff, they might like Mom's meat loaf!"

So they did.

The owl limped up to it, sniffed, made a gesture that was definitely 'outraged disgust,' and limped away.

The owl hung around our house for about a week, and then disappeared. I don't think the Forestry guy was really interested. The owl especially liked to limp up to the side door of our van as the kids were getting ready to come out. It was creepy, it really was. That owl was enormous. Reminded me of R2D2, a little. Enormous, and fearless.

The lump of meat loaf sat in the yard for several days. The cat wouldn't eat it. The deer wouldn't eat it. Even the insects didn't swarm over it. Racoons, possums. . . . nothing would eat that meat loaf.

It kind of hurt my feelings.

I guess next time I should put a little more salt in it.